Day 155 "Happy Is As Happy Does?"

Below is an article I recently came across. From a worldly point of view, it brings into focus several helpful thoughts and ideas about building happiness into your life. But when you go on and add in the spiritual understanding of who Christ is and what he came to do here on Earth for you and I, one's total experience of happiness can rise to become an out of this world experience!

First, understanding from the world's point of view:

Happy Is As Happy Does: Make Your Own Joy in Life

By Amy Clover

“Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.” ~Benjamin Disraeli

I used to get paralyzed with fear in the face of any load of work. Suffering from crippling depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, and severely low self-esteem, I’d find so many thoughts battling me, making it hard to take action:

• What’s the point of starting if you know you won’t finish?

• You’re just going to waste your time putting in all that effort when you get rejected at the end.

• Think about how much time that’s going to take! What if it’s all for naught? How stupid will you feel?!

I know many people who don’t suffer from depression and, yet, still struggle with those same thoughts. It drives them to procrastination and anxiety, and may even keep them from achieving any of their dreams! I have changed a lot since those voices ruled my head-space, and have since learned this:

The key to a happy life is taking responsibility to make it. I started taking action to turn my life around only after being admitted to a program for suicidal adults in 2005. It took that for me to realize that what I was doing just wasn’t working and that I could never go on living the way that I was. Using a blend of exercise and cognitive therapy, I pulled myself out of that black hole and started making my own life.

I began to realize that happiness isn’t served to you; it’s earned. It’s created. I am now a personal trainer and wellness coach, and I come across this paralyzed mentality in many new clients. When I hear people complain about their lives as they are, then refuse to take action to change it, I understand where it comes from. It’s frightening leaving the comfort of misery. Dwelling in it seems almost luxurious. It feels like something. Though it hurts, you feel alive! But is that what you want your life to be like? Rolling around in your own misery, perhaps diving deeper into it every day?

The fear of failure can keep you unhappy for the rest of your life. If you want your life to change, realize that:

• No one will do it for you.

• You will have to make sacrifices..

• You will have to start taking action to behave differently, and create that reality.

So many people wait and wait for happiness to come to them. You might get lucky. It might just fall in your lap. But that type of happiness is fleeting. For most, earning happiness creates a deeper understanding and recognition of joy, and is much more likely to last since you know how hard you worked for it.

When you take action, you are telling yourself that your life is worth fighting for. You are strengthening your confidence and proving to yourself that you are not helpless. You are taking responsibility for your life.

So how do you take that first step? How do you go from doing nothing to fighting for your life? It’s true what they say: The first step is always the hardest. So let’s break it down into mini-steps so that it isn’t so overwhelming.

Go in knowing that this will take work. If you go in knowing this—and accepting it—the work won’t paralyze you. Assure yourself that your happiness is worth it. Everything worth having in life takes work. Commit yourself to change, and to the fact that this work takes priority, just as happiness will once you’ve found it.

Identify what makes you unhappy. Sit down with a pen and paper (or just open up Word),and start jotting down what you’re unhappy with in your life. Be specific.  The more detailed you are, the easier it will be to take the next step. Visit all aspects of your life: relationships, work, health, free time, etc. This can be an enlightening experience. How many areas of your life are you unhappy with? Are there more than you thought, or fewer? How does that feel?

Why do these things make you unhappy? This is when we identify exactly why those areas of your life leave you lacking. Write down anything that comes to mind and be honest. The only person that should see this is you. Don’t judge yourself on what starts to appear on that page. This step is necessary to creating change: You must know why you are unhappy in the first place to take steps in the other direction. It is only when you allow yourself to be completely honest that you can discover what needs to change.

What would make you happy, and why? This is the fun part! If you could create anything in your life right now that would allow you to be happy, what would it be? Start looking at the reasons you are unhappy, and brainstorm actions you can take to address them. For instance, if your job makes you unhappy because the hours require you to be away from your family more than you’d like, how can you turn that around?

• Could you talk to your boss about working fewer hours?

• If that’s not a possibility, what can you do to cut down on out-of-work emails, calls, or any other business?

• Still stumped? If you can’t find a way to put in fewer hours, how can you enrich the time you do get to spend with your family?

• Or, would you consider looking for/creating another job that would give you more flexibility?

This is also when you discover if the things that you think would make you happy really would. Sometimes, just writing out the scenarios that you believe would add joy to your life is enough to realize that some don’t thrill you as much as you thought they would. You may write one resolution down and, upon looking at it, realize that in truth, it wouldn’t solve anything!  And that’s okay. This is the point of brainstorming. We want to cover all our bases so that we can address the fears of wasted effort, rejection, and failure.

If the resolutions scare and excite you, however, don’t shy away from them! These feelings are a sign that you’re onto something worth doing. That fear is healthy; your brain is only comfortable with what it knows, even if that is unhappiness. In order to create a joyous life, you must stretch your comfort zone and take action for yourself. The happiest people aren’t born that way; they fought hard for it. Being able to experience both sides of the spectrum makes us more grateful for that happiness when we find it. ************** About Amy Clover: Amy Clover is a personal trainer, wellness coach, and blogger at Strong Inside Out, a blog devoted to empowering you through fitness and positive action to overcome life’s obstacles.

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And now, from a spiritual point of view:

It is not the self-effort that sets up and establishes a different pathway in life. It is a totally different perspective in which you see yourself and the world around you that brings real happiness inside of you, a happiness and peace that continues despite the circumstances surrounding one's life.

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by

the renewing of your mind." Romans 12:2

"Do not love the world or anything in the world. For everything in the world-the

cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does-

comes not from the Father but from the world." 1 John 2:15-16

Changing our viewpoint changes the way we see things. Seeing things differently can often be a stimulus for change. Whereas the focus of the above approach towards happiness is self-initiated, self-developed, self-created, self-implemented, and self-experienced. Can you see the common thread that holds this movement all together? It is the focus on self.

From a spiritual point of view, seeing ourselves not as we see us but as God sees us makes all the difference in this world and affects our hopes and state-of-mind for the world, yet, to come.

God sees our value when we see our nothingness.

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be

called children of God! And that is what we are!" 1 John 3:1

"This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son

into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we

love God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for

our sins." 1 John 4:9-10

Jesus died to declare that your life was worth fighting for.

"He set aside the first to establish the second. And by that will, we have

been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for

all." Hebrews 10:10

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the

ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your

head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more that many

sparrows." 10:29-31

Christ brings about freedom and peace.

"Therefore there is now no condemnation for those in Christ." Romans 8:1

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27

"I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10

Through Christ, our perspective changes from this life which is temporary to things which are eternal.

"For God so love the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever

believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his

Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him."

John 3:16-17

Through Christ, our identity is untethered from being defined and established by others and our performance, to that which is established by love and grace.

"Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ."

Romans 8:17

Our identity in Christ sets us free from the identity we set for ourselves. Therefore, we move forward out of our new identity in Christ and leave behind our efforts to strive towards obtaining and achieving something. Our focus changes from self to becoming "otherly concerned." When we step through this doorway of love and grace, happiness is given room to find us and given the fertile ground in which to take root.

"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort

from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in

Spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:1-4

Here is the point: The more we understand our new identity in Christ, the greater our perspective of ourselves change. Change the filter system through which you perceive and understand life around you, you then encounter a new way of looking at yourself and the world. And that can change your life! And that, my friend, can usher in living water and a river of happiness.

There is a stark contrast for choosing where to find your happiness. On one side, the world and self-effort. On the other side, the pathway through Christ and becoming a child of God. Each one frames a mirror and a window. One shows us our reflection, to show us who we perceive ourselves to be. The other shows us the world and what we deem to be our place within it.

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"I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness." John 12:46

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have

power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high

and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses know-

ledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

Ephesians 3:17-19

In God's economy, you are loved unconditionally. May your heart and mind come to understand it.

In his love, see you tomorrow...

"Carpe Momentum in Love" (Seize the moment in love)